Week 4: Tween

When my grandmother went to live in a senior living apartment, she went somewhat reluctantly.  There are too many old people, she said.  She was 80 at the time.  I would laugh at her and say, how old did she think she was.  I didn’t understand then, she didn’t feel her age.  Eventually, she got into the groove of living there, and would sit in the hall with the other yentas talking all day.  Her biggest complaint was that her new friends loved giving greeting cards.  This put enormous pressure on her to return the favor.  It was almost more than she could bear.  Eventually, she came to give the place her highest compliment – it wasn’t horrible.  Really, that was a compliment.

As I approach the milestone of the big 5-0, I also don’t feel my age.  I’ve started cruising the over 50 websites and even AARP.  I just don’t relate.  I’m not close to retirement or empty nest syndrome – my kids are only 8.    Not really worried about become a grandmother anytime soon.  Many high school friends (viewed on Facebook) as well as my sister are watching their kids go off to college.  They're shopping for a dorm frig – I’m looking for new backpacks for 3^rd grade.  I’m not ready for RVing around the country, although I think the concept is cool. 

I feel young among the over 50 crowd.  Of course, I would as I’m not yet 50.  I feel old against the young crowd.  I’m usually the oldest in any school meeting with teachers and staff.  Even the principal.  How can I be older than a principal?  My primary doctor is still older than me, but I’m not sure by much.  The president is only 2 years older than me.  Calculating age differences between me and famous people has become almost a full-time job.

Demographically – I fit in one group, but psychographically I fit in another group.  Caught between two age groups - on the inside.  To the world, they see over 50.  Well, I hope not over 50.  No one has been shocked when I told them I was freaking out about turning 49 (and, thus 50).  No one said you can't be that old, you can't.  This isn't about physicality, although I do let me gray roots show a little longer than I should.  What a minute, maybe it is about letting too much time go between dye jobs.  Maybe that is the solution.